Thoughts of Christian – A mother’s story
My name is Sharon and I have three sons.
Our family was very ordinary. Our boys were very close when they were small.
Outside of school, they played soccer, hockey and football.
They enjoyed playing board games, riding bikes, playing on the trampoline, watching movies and playing video games.
We travelled to Mexico, San Diego, Disneyland and the Shuswap in British Columbia. We took day trips to the lake and the zoo.
Christian was my youngest son.
He was shy.
He loved to tease and had a unique sense of humor.
He loved to laugh.
His smile was infectious and his brown eyes would light up and sparkle.
Christian was mischievous.
He loved to help around the house whether it was clearing the table or mowing the grass.
Christian was very thoughtful and cared about others.
He enjoyed cooking and had a real sweet tooth!
He loved Lego and building things.
He loved our Sheltie dogs.
Christian wasn’t one to share his feelings.
He truly lived his life and enjoyed the simple things.
He told me he loved me everyday.
Christian died when he was just 20 years old. He died of the disease called drug addiction.
Addiction knows no boundaries.
My husband and I had spoken to our children about drugs and alcohol.
We ate suppers together each night as a family.
Our boys knew right from wrong.
They were polite and treated others with respect.
I foolishly thought we had made it through the difficult teenage years when Christian graduated from high school.
How wrong I was!!
At 18 years of age, like so many young people, Christian started by experimenting with marijuana.
The first time you try drugs, it IS a choice. But that one choice can lead to addiction like it did with our son.
Some people today feel that it is safer to use prescription drugs. But they are just as deadly as the street drugs.
As Christian’s addiction progressed, we saw a total change in his personality.
He was angry.
He had insomnia but never missed work.
He was a master at manipulation.
He lied and actually believed the lies he told you.
He had new friends that we never met.
Christian continued to eat suppers with us but lost weight.
We kicked him out of the house twice because of his behaviour and the choices he was making.
Christian was seeing a therapist.
He refused to believe he had a problem and deflected the blame onto others.
Everyday, Christian struggled with wanting to be the son and brother that we had raised.
But there was a conflict between the love of his family and the dark side of addiction.
We continued to see glimpses of the son we used to know.
Drugs were now his best friend.
Christian didn’t deserve this fate.
He was a good human being and touched many people during his short life.
We received many condolences from people we had never met.
They too saw the amazing person that our son was!
Losing a child is the most devastating loss.
We grieve the life that he should have had.
He’ll never go to university and have the career he dreamed of.
He will not travel to places that he longed to visit.
Christian will never marry and have children of his own.
All we are left with is our memories.
Our home is not the same.
I am forever changed.
I am not the same person I once was.
I am not the wife, mother or friend that I was before this happened to our family.
I will always have a huge hole in my heart.
During my darkest days, I know that Christian loved his family. He knew how much we all loved him.
It would sadden him to see the pain that we are in today.
Please respect yourself. Choose your friends wisely.
Stand up for what you believe.
You CAN survive adolescence and have a happy and fulfilling life, unlike my son Christian.
Bad things can happen to good people.
Sharon’s heartfelt story touches a chord with all parents. She is determined to create something positive and meaningful from the loss of Christian, and has offered to speak to high school students about the dangers of drug addiction.
For more information, please contact DFK Canada at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will forward any requests on to Sharon.